Handy quotes for upcoming political season

“More Political Babble”
David Olive
John Wiley and Sons Inc.


The year 2001 is six months away – and the political season is not far behind. Politics, the national pastime of us Filipinos, pumps the adrenaline of those throwing their hats into the political ring – and even those raring to make political campaigning a lucrative enterprise. Even now, the debate on lifting the ban on political advertisements has heated up – and has been the grist of many newspaper articles – and even editorials.

This book, “More Political Babble,” is a timely executive read for political observers to settle the fact once and for all that politics is a profession of lesser mortals – and for politicians to realize they have been found out to have “feet of clay” – if not mud.

Sub-titled “The Dumbest Things Politicians Ever Said,” the book of 244 pages should prove to be a real treat to worn out executives who want to get back at government bureaucrats who make their lives difficult. It has 16 sections, spiced with cartoons and boxed items for readability, and covering topics on the “campaign trail,” “Bill Clinton and the Stature Gap,” “That Whiff of Scandal,” “Better Left Unsaid,” and “Media Relations.”

A sampling of the book will describe it better.

On those who, this early, cast a covetous eye on politics, here’s a quote from Thomas Jefferson: “Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.” Spot those early dreamers!

And beware of dirty tricks that will mushroom at every corner this forthcoming season. This bumper sticker was sported by supporters of a governor to underscore the reputation of his opponent: “Vote for the Crook. It’s important.”

Well, for those who will run and lose anyway, this advice is timely: “You will reach a point where you can only be sure of two votes – yours and your wife’s,“ a quote from former President Jimmy Carter.

We chastise ourselves for electing so-called nitwits in the legislature, but listen to the Americans:

“The bottom line is there have been a lot of nuts elected to the United States Senate,” according to Sen. Charles Grassley in 1994 on why Republicans should not oppose Senate nominee Oliver North. We have Oliver North’s in abundance here. And, if you believe press releases of our senators, take the advice of Walter Bagehot: “The cure for admiring the House of Lords is to go and look at it.” Better still, ask your parish priest, because he may agree with the chaplain who said: “No, I look at the senators, and I pray for the country,” when he was asked if he was praying for senators.

Our Philippines politics has much to say about the so-called “weaker sex,” and these quotes and other versions are in abundance in this book:

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman – Mary Pearson, wife of Canadian Prime Minister Lester Pearson. Or surprised women?

What about women like Gennifer Flowers who said, “I feel I’m the person responsible for putting Bill Clinton in the White House.” She said this in 1993, asserting that her claim of an affair with Clinton gave him publicity points.

On sleeping habits of political leaders, this anecdote could be a familiar scene:

Governor?

Yeah?

It’s nine o’clock

Well, you’re going to be inaugurated in two hours.

Does that mean I have to get up?

This was an exchange between Michael Deaver and Ronald Reagan on the morning of Reagan’s first inauguration as president in 1981.

On lying, we have these quotes that seem uncannily familiar:

“I’m a politician, and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want – Charles Peackock, ex-director of Madison Guaranty, the Arkansas savings and loan at the center of the Whitewater investigation in 1994, explaining why he lied about writing a check to help erase a Clinton gubernatorial debt.

Another form of exercise is this from French: “I have lied in food faith,” says French politician Bernard Tapie in 1995, after his sworn alibi crumbled in court.

Lying is old. Even classical satirist Jonathan Swift was quoted in the book saying: “Promises and pie crust are made to be broken.” American Eugene McCarthy agrees: “It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things people might remember.” We have out own “no talk no mistake” strategy.

Finally, on media. This quoted prayer by Senate Chaplain Richard Halverson could be used by the Palace:

Thank you, Lord, for a free press…But gracious Father, investigative reporting seems epidemic in an election year – its primary objective to defame political candidates…Eternal god, help these self-appointed “vacuum cleaner'; return true;" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 3px double; TEXT-DECORATION: none" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;" href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=vacuum%20cleaner">vacuum cleaner journalists.”

There are books that you read once and read again. They also come in handy during traffic. Most of all, they are a comfort when we are confronted with foibles and dumb actions of politicians. Give yourself a break. Grab this book.